Cultural/social interactions

(photo is a flower in the conservatory at Harlaxton)

I've been paying special attention to the everyday interactions of the English on our trips into the market town of Grantham. First of all, the shuttle/cab ride to and from Harlaxton is frightening! I can't shake the feeling that the car coming down the wrong(!) side of the road is going to hit us head-on, and I have never seen people drive so fast on such narrow roads. Seatbelts are a must and are a large part of the culture. We have been asked to put them on by every driver of every vehicle we've been in, including the big motor coach. (Does a Croswell bus in Cincy even have seatbelts?) It's been another adjustment to realize that here, pedestrians DO NOT have the right-of-way. Simply crossing the street has been quite an adventure.

I've also noticed that most people, including our drivers, are quite chatty IF YOU APPROACH THEM FIRST! I am so used to being greeted by clerks (sometimes forcefully) in stores in the U.S., but here no one speaks to me unless I speak to them first. They are always properly polite, but very few smiles. Everyone talks so softly that it is easy to hear us Americans coming from far away. I'm beginning to wince a little at my own loudness. In the States, it is almost a badge of honor for me to say, "I come from a loud family" and make no effort to change, but the longer I am here the more I catch myself sub-consciously trying to be quieter (volume-wise, not quantity wise!)

The English seem to be very aware of personal space and the rules of public spaces. I made the mistake of getting out of the wrong side of the shuttle bus (why can't I use that door?) and was later informed that the driver was "quite put out." After speaking to the very helpful lady clerk at the train station, I made the mistake of going the wrong direction in the queue to exit. There was only one man in line, but he very testily said (try this at home in an English accent), "You've got to go 'round that way, can't you see?" This was not said politely, but rather incredulously that I would even consider going against the flow. I'm going to make a conscious effort to abide by this as I make my way around the country. I'm trying hard not to be the arrogant American that expects others to conform to me and my ways.

My conclusion is that the English do not initiate conversations with strangers, are polite when spoken to without actually smiling, and are helpful as long as you follow the rules.

Not unlike myself...